Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘snow’

Dear Diary~Day 12

Dear Diary,

Finally (and unfortunately) the winter showed its face in real sense since yesterday. I witnessed the first snow of the year although it was just for a short while (giving us false hopes as we all dreamed of a white cover all over). Snow appeals to me but i cannot say the same thing for the cold. It is just freezing outside and thick pullovers, wool hats, gloves already took their places in my closet, making me seem like an eskimo while walking around 😀

That is all about the weather and what about me?? Well, busy time of my life. I am gripping partially this and that but not able to wholly grab what i touch. Time and patience are the basic factors that i need the most!

Love,

Choti

Read Full Post »

He was leaning against his car, his eyes fixed at far away. I reminded myself that he was waiting for me at the time and place i offered…3 pm in the afternoon at a park which was covered by a white sheet.

I had sensed from his voice that he was reluctant to meet me; he agreed to come not as a matter of kindness but as he was afraid i could be headache again. I already knew by heart that he would never do anything for me but still i never gave up forcing my chance. I don’t know the reason except the fact that I was the slave of my poor feelings.

It was still snowing quite a lot hence blocking my view to see him clearly. I went closer for a few more steps. He was tensed, impatient and looking forward to drawing an end-line. I kept watching him from the point where i was standing/hiding. My pains (memories) began to attack me using the current opportunity.

He and me sitting on a snowy bench, his smoking (sine quo non of my dreams), my watching his face,  his smiling at me, my getting shy, his crawling fingers on my hair, my head searching for his shoulder, his magical touches on my face…

I had to come into my senses as he started to move impatiently. It was 3:05 pm now. I was late just for 5 minutes and that was enough time for him to create an excuse. He opened the door of his car and got inside. Sat there indecisively just for 2 seconds and started the engine.

When i took a step forward, he was already gone!

Read Full Post »

SNOWFLAKE…

First snowflake of the year. She focused her looks on the calendar to confirm the date once more – – 3rd of February – – her birthday.

She woke up earlier today although it was weekend. She opened the curtains to a white world and started to watch the snow even without blinking her eyes. Each time a snowflake reached the ground and melted in the soil, she remembered him. Each time a snowflake was gone with the wind in the air carelessly here and there, she remembered him. And each time a snowflake fell onto the window smiling at her with a soft and calm move, she remembered him.

 

It was her birthday so the time was not proper to think about him, to remember him or frankly speaking to miss him. That would put her into an expectation, expecting a call for her birthday as his velvet-like voice, his warm smile contrasting to the cold whether would be the best gift she could ever have in her entire life, yet he had forgotten her last birthday.

 

She looked at the watch, it was 8 am. She tried to calculate the time in Ontario. It must have passed the midnight. He must have been sleeping already. For a short while, she got lost in her mind surrounded by the thoughts all about him. She thought they never watched the same moon at the same time, they never blinked at the sun at the same time, they never got wet under the same rain, and they never breathed the same air or never felt the cold face of the same snow…

 

That was nothing more than nonsense. She always thought she ended this issue in her mind months ago but her heart was against her as usual. Trying to divert her attention from him to something else she took a few steps towards the kitchen. All of a sudden she realized something on the carpet. A hairclip with blue-pink butterfly on it, the pair of which was sent to him a year ago in an envelope full of love and hope. Now she did not have enough courage to take it from the ground or to handle the situation itself. Right now this tiny hairclip let her dig her past deeper and deeper. She remembered how they used to imagine a day to spend together. A day in Ontario, on a lonely street buried into silence with the snow covering the whole city.

They would be walking hand in hand slowly, silently feeling each other more on each step. They would let the snow hide their footprints they left on the snowy road.

He would be smoking at the same time. She never had any special reason but she always had the impression that he looked more charming while smoking. After a long walk they would be sitting on a cold bench not even minding its being wet by snow. They would be looking each other’s eyes searching for the traces of love more and more until feeling satisfied. Her nose would be reddish due to chilling wind and he would warm it by rubbing his nose onto hers. That would let her feel his breath on her face…

 

These daydreams were going on for hours each time they called each other and just before they end the call, they used to repeat their promise given by heart: “No matter what happens, no matter where we are, no matter how old we are, no matter with whomever we are, we will meet at least once before we die!”.

She heard his voice echoing in her ear as if it was just whispered. She realized the bitter truth of the world once again. Different nations, different cultures, different religions, and parents isolating their children from this “difference”.

 

The voice in her ear carried on: “I know we have no end but I promise you I will be yours and only yours forever. Can you promise me as well?”

She whispered to herself “I promise”.

As soon as she finished her sentence the phone rang. Before daring to hear who it was, she checked the time again. It was 8:45 am. She picked it up. That familiar soft voice:

“Happy Birthday Ducky!”

 

Although she was longing for this call, hence waiting for it, she was shocked and had no words to speak. For a while they stayed silent. Then the guy carried on:

“Don’t you want to know about your birthday gift?”

“Even this meant a lot. Thank you for your nice behavior.”

“No, no…ask about your gift!”

“Ok then, what is my birthday gift?”

“A flight ticket!”

“Ticket? For me?”

“No, actually for myself.”

“For yourself? Ok, but to where?”

“To you!”

 

Just then another snowflake fell on the window slipping downwards smiling at her…

 

Read Full Post »