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Posts Tagged ‘life’

TO SUCCEED A FAILURE

This morning, when the sun released its rays on my wall in the form of some sparkling lights, again ‘some hope’ filled deep inside me! ‘Some hope’ that is both triggered and hindered by the life itself. ‘Some hope’ that makes me strong enough to challenge every difficulty…that gives me the self-confidence to put up with the so-called bad side…that adds me the gift to see the right and to ignore the wrong.

Yet the very same ‘hope’ does not protect me from the thought that one day you will totally forget me as if i have never existed. And at this point this ‘some hope’ that seems like a success at first step just turns into a failure at the second!

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The more dead, the less alive…

Others are living their lives while i am killing mine…while i am dying day by day…

Separating a part of mine from the whole with every new day…shattering my soul into millions of pieces…

Burning my say in the heat of silence…hiding the sparkles in my eyes behind my eyelids…

Burying my smile into my tears…

The more i am dead, and the less alive…

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Today is the birthday of a friend whom i lost long time ago. Our meeting was just a matter of chance life puts forward for most of us and losing his friendship was a matter of fate where chance simply stays back.

Being social by nature, human beings tend to have too many acquaintances among which only some are called as “true friends”. He was one of them, one of those people whose number does not exceed the fingers of a hand.

We did not spend plenty of time together, yet every single minute he provided to me brought a life experience for me. He showed me the face of a good personality yet at the same time gave me the glimpse of a bad person so that i would be prepared in life against them.

He gave me countless hopes yet taking them back one by one in time showing that life does not always give us what we want.

He was there for me most of the time when i need to share a smile or just a cry still being invisible for the other times making me realize that sooner or later we will lose our close ones no matter how bitter the truth is.

He was a model for me to be ambitious in life but also he taught me to let go the things as nothing should be taken too much serious after all life was just a temporary phase, a play where we all act!

Sometimes he was too serious, that was the cold face of life, other times he was a total joker teasing me all the time trying to show me what things i should take serious and pay attention, what other things i should ignore and take easy.

Fighting was our biggest timepass…times spent by discussing, quarrelling, yelling, getting angry or frustrated…but next time we met, we were just two little kids trying to apologize and feeling shy at the same time, which showed me we should of course struggle for what we believe in, for our truths yet we should seek a way to establish peace no matter who is wrong/right.

Sometimes he was disappearing for days, weeks, even months and on his return each time i showed too much anger but now i understand he was just teaching me the feeling of “missing”.

He showed me that in every tear drop there was a story to hear, in every smile there was a feeling waiting to be shared, in every word there was a promise to be fulfilled, in every disappearance there was a return to be expected, in every happy moment there was a wish to keep it forever, in every person there was a life to live…

And for me in every friendship there is him to seek…

Today is a birthday of a friend whom i lost long ago. Most probably he will never see this post, less probably he will see the post but will ignore it. Still;

Thank you for your friendship even if it lasted for a short while…

Thank you for the experiences you helped to pile in my life…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

happybirthday_cake_by_littlefantasy

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25 Facts About Me…Tag Tag!

smile030No need to make an introduction, right? I am sure you already guessed that i am tagged by Sree once again…i should say i love tags because on each tag i know more details about my blogger friends and in the same way i let them know about me more…and i find every tiny miny detail quite interesting as minor reasons in life might cause major results 🙂

Here is the rule…i should write 25 facts about me…it can be about my life, my habits, hobbies, fantasies, achievements, aims…etc…etc..and then tag 25 people in return…lets start!

  1. I hate monday mornings as i am not able to wake up early in the morning and come into my senses properly at least till 10 am. And did you notice tomorrow is Monday? 😡
  2. No matter what i cannot decide about my favourite Bollywood movie, one day it is Veer-Zara, the other day it is Devdas, and some other day it is Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge…but under any condition i cannot vote for the best as each and every SRK movie is already the best!
  3. I cannot stop myself from spending on books and movies. Although i am quite slow at reading lately due to lack of time, i am still fast at purchasing books 😀
  4. Recently i lost a precious friend and it is one of my biggest regrets in life! (I cannot blame either myself or my friend, but just life)
  5. I am a coward, i cannot watch any horror movies. If i watch just by chance/coincidence, i am not able to sleep alone/in dark for days 😀
  6. As the time passes, i am becoming more and more homebody, less and less social. My leisure time activities quite decreased in time. Does it mean i am getting older? 😆
  7. I cannot speak proper Hindi and that drives me crazy. I guess I should try harder…The best sentence i can construct in Hindi is “Main achchi hindi bol nahi sakti hoon” (hope it is correct lol)
  8. My favourite song changes every week, and i can spend the whole week just listening to the very same song consuming it to the end; this week’s song is “hum ne suna hai” from Mere Yaar Ki Shadi Hai.
  9. i quitted celebrating my birthday and at the same time i started to forget my friend’s birthdays (Accordingly, i am sure Mr. Sree will remind me of his birthday leaving a comment here *angel looks*)
  10. I love coke. Drinking coke is a habit of mine but unfortunately i am forbidden by my doctor from drinking it as it is unhealty 😦
  11. Lately i have been to various hospitals due to some health issues of mine…for now i am pretty good (shukar hai), as a matter of fact  i don’t want to see any doctor ever again (lets see how long will it be possible :p)
  12. I am looking forward to spring. I want to wear lighter clothes and to feel the sunshine on my face and to smell the fresh daisies…I wonder when i will be able to open my eyes a sunny morning…
  13. My mom’s birthday is quite near and i am planning to surprise her with a cute gift 😀
  14. Checking my blog status every day, i see many visitors but i wonder why most of the time they just pass by without dropping any comment…come on guys i am sure you have something to say on my posts :p
  15. The more i think (about anything) the more i get confused :S
  16. I hate being a pessimistic person but i cannot help thinking in a negative way. How to get rid of it?!
  17. I love spending time in bookstores, touching the covers of books and feeling the dusty smell of the shelves and hearing the sounds of the characters sheltered among pages.
  18. I already started to plan my summer vacation. I have a wedding to attend this summer and i am so excited about it as it will be an occasion to recollect my old memories.
  19. I am an indecisive person. I cannot make up my mind quickly when i am stuck between two things. If you offer me a chocolate and a bowl of icecream, i might think over it for hours and at the end someone else eat the chocolate and icecream melts already; that is why i miss many opportunities in life 😆
  20. I love daisies…the white ones…they look so pure and innocent…
  21. An indian friend of mine living and working in the same city with me, just got married in india and came back. I haven’t seen my bhabi yet, soon to be met 🙂
  22. This week i realized that i love buying cosmetic stuff but not using them as during the whole week i just put on make up only two days (well i am a natural-born-lazy plus i have a natural beauty 😆
  23. Since i watched the garba dance scene in the movie Pride and Prejudice, i want to learn it but there is no one to teach me 😦
  24. I would love to have a saree but i don’t know how and where to wear it lol
  25. Number 25 is spared for a confession which is i found it quite difficult to recollect 25 items about myself :p

Well i don’t have 25 people to tag…so anyone interested can take it up…i would love to hear about different lives 🙂

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Dear Diary -Day 5

imagesI haven’t touched upon the life-points lately so let me make a short summary of what is going on at Choti’s end 🙂

Tu meri adhuri pyaas pyaas, tu aa gayi mann ko raas raas, ab to tu aaja paas paas, hai guzarish…

  • I have been watching Bollywood since Sunday….One movie on each day and I decided (still and again) I love Bollywood movies much more than Hollywood ones. Of course i don’t differenciate between the movies according to their origin country, i still have fun even if they are American, Chinese, French or other yet no other movie makes me feel best, make me seize dreams than Bollywood…may be it is because of SRK only :p

Rehna tu…hai jaise tu..thoda sa dard tu…thoda sukun…

  • As a cliche of my life, office has been busy since sinceee i was born 😆 But i am still happy and thankful to have my job…because i like it the way it is 🙂

Maula maula mere maula…dararein dararein bandhein pe maula…maramat mukdarki kar do maula, mere maula…

  • There has been some cuts in the number of friends. Some went abroad living the rest behind to go on their education, some proved me wrong and some I proved wrong leading some losses at both ends. I still believe in the same philosophy that is TIME HEALS EVERY KIND OF WOUND!

Love,

Choti

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SOMETIMES!

morning_walk51Sometimes we should let it go. Sometimes we cannot get any benefit from sticking to some people rather we can only harm ourselves and them. Sometimes we should let the beloved ones to stay away from us, sometimes we should lose them in order to fully understand how precious they are to us, but no guarantee whether you can find them again once you lose them.

Sometimes we should pretend, we should be a different person than we are, so anyone in life needs some theatrical gestures so that we can make people believe in things which are not true. For example, when you say “I don’t love you”, the person across to you should not suspect from the power of your sentence. You should perform it with such a certainty that you can deceive even yourself.

Sometimes we should stay silent no matter how strong storms are devastating us inside. We should not let the volcano burst out but burn ourselves only. We should know to shut up when it is high time. We should listen, digest and keep our lips sealed.

Sometimes we should regret and learn to live with these regrets as there is no escape from them but other times we should forget, forget things, forget people. And sometimes we should remember the best moments within the worst experiences in life.

Sometimes we should write to make the memories engraved on something concrete so that they cannot leave us and fly away.

Sometimes we should lie to protect beloved ones, to show them a better way with the light of a simple, innocent lie.

And sometimes we should just smile for no reason and let the others smile too…

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Dear Diary – Day 2

imagesI cant tell how busy i have been lately…Time passes so quickly and each time i have to catch up with it…lets see what has happened lately…

1) I have been to hospitals so many times due to this and that minor reasons. I observed one thing. The more i hate hospitals, the more i have to visit them. Thanks to god, my health seems fine (at least for now).

2) As a matter of healthy life, i decided to cook and eat at home, especially the dinners. So after leaving office, i rush to home to cook. Well no need to say how tiring it is…and it is a torture to cook a dish while you are damn hungry!!!

3) Some good developments… i m about to finish the book (at last) i had started a month ago (Masumiyet Müzesi — Museum of Innocense)…Only 40 pages left. I know i should have finished it a bit earlier but couldnt find time 😦

4) At weekend, while i was checking the new movies, i came across the DVD on the shelf, which i have been looking for days (Before the Rains). (The review of which you can find in my previous post). That was a lovely day…as it makes me really happy:)

5) I went out for shopping at weekend as i have to buy the dress for the forthcoming wedding. I checked 1000000 of shops but couldnt find one. I mean there are many dresses but not in the way i want…now i have to check another 100000 of shops…wish me luck…

6) Office is too busy and it seems will be like that till the end of this year…and i believe new year will bring new sources for being happy:)

Dear Diary,

Thats all for today…Thank you for listening to me.. You are a good friend…hehehe

Love,

Choti…

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Updating Life!

mmmm lets see what i have been up to lately…..

mmm on a second thought…lets skip this post!

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PAIN OF LIFE

Is it possible to remember a whole past by just a name? Can just a word accelerate the heartbeats out of nothing? Can’t the time heal all the wounds? If so, how much time do we need to recover totally? Or there is no cure at all?! How can one remember each and every detail as if they are just experienced or can someone forget everything in a second as if nothing had been shared at all?

I even won’t talk about the pain afterwards.

Any answers would be highly appreciated.

 

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I am tagged for the first time….

Well, something weird happened today…one of my overseas friend (Sree thts u lol) told me that he tagged me…first i didnt get wht he meant as i am quite new in this blogging world but he cleared the issue for me…i considered it as a game to decrease the feeling of torture…:D (mazak mazak)…

Here are the titles:

1) 6 whatever’s about me

2) 5 things i miss right now

3) 10 things i wana achieve in a decade

Well i wll try to meet the requirements but to be very honest i stll dnt know wht i ll get in return except facing myself in many ways…lol

And the sad thing is that i have no one to tag….lol

ok lets start>>>>>

6 whatever’s about me:

1) I love india…i m a great fan of indian culture and its cinema…i find all these colorful clothes (sareees), accesorizes (bangles, payels, ear-rings etc) and beautiful indian ladies with long black hair quite fascinating. When i think of india the first thing coming to my mind is bollywood and all those sad or happy love stories….sincere scenes reflecting the country’s culture itself, friendly athmosphere and awesome nature views….well i can wrte about india pages and pages so shortly, as in sung in Pardes “yeh mera india, i love my india”….:D

2) Writing is my big passion. i find very relaxing and satisfying to write about anythng and everythng and i feel happy when my writings find some readers…and when these readers like my writings!

3)I have a habit of daydreaming..lol i can imagine things all of a sudden, i can compose scenarios in my mind and get lost in them…hehehe

4) Every sunday afternoon i go to starbucks cafe to drink a cup of coffe latte (small size and hot) with a choclate chipped muffin (yummmy)

5) I watch at least 3 movies every week either hollywood or bollywood…

6) i dont like talking on phone, especially in English!

5 things i miss right now

1) i absolutely miss my parents and my hometown…since i live away from them…

2) i miss talking to one of my old buddies about anythng stupid or anythng meaningfull as we used to do in the past.

3) i miss the games i played with my cousins when we were tooo tiny to understand the world..lol…good old days!

4) i miss my tree where i used to sit on its highest branch and used to eat plum till i get pain in stomach (i guess i was a bit notty kid lol)

5) i miss fighting with my sister face to face, it is a bit difficult on phone…hehehe

10 things i wana achieve in a decade

1) to be a good and even professional writer and to publish my books

2) to act in a movie with Shah Rukh Khan 😀

3) to visit india (especially Taj mahal) and see each of my indian friends…

4) to go to Canada and to take a walk there on a snowy Sunday…

5) to go to Uk to meet my best overseas buddy there

6) to be able to speak fluent Hindi and Urdu and to refresh my German which i almost forgat…

7) to be able to watch a SRK movie in a big cinema screen which seems impossible in my country…lol

9) not to be too sensitive as it causes me to get hurt on every small disappoinment…

10) to participate in a traditional indian wedding

i guess i m done…phew..tht was really ummmmm realllyyyyy make me travel through my past… Srrreeee hope i satisfied the titles…lol

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Habit of Pain

Life is weird…Both astonishing with the every newcoming day and at the same time so familiar with the each passing day!
The act of “living” is so hard as well as being an easy baby-toy…Hard in the way that you have to face distrust, misuse, cheat, abuse, losing, missing, pain, tears, heartache, LOVE, backbite and many others which i even dont wanna mention; however, life is so easy for us-we, the human beings- as when you experience ONCE each one of them, then you are done…coz this so-called “long path” is just composed of the repetation of the same stuff…so when you fail ONCE, dont worry, just chill…coz when you will be failing for a SECOND time, it wont hurt that much…as the pain is to be habituated!!!

 

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Today while i was on the way to the office in the early morning after a-week vacation, this sentence was whirling in my mind. Seven big days when i could sleep like angels as much as i wanted, i did every possible free-time activity with a pleasure at peak, and i ate like little bear whole day (lol). But suddenly on the 8th day i had to get up at 6 am to catch up with the office routine. I compensated for the breakfast with a half bowl of cornflakes while thinking about the workload waiting for me!

One day before, one day after…what a contrast isn’t it?

When i stepped in the borders of the company, the usual familiar street doggy greeted me looking with wide-open innocent brown eyes; i told him “You should sleep while you have time.” He kept looking at me, i doubted he did not undertand me (lol). Then i went inside, took the lift, stopped at 7th floor, took a deep breath and opened the door to my routine but habituated, boring but necessary world; i kept a slight smile on my face while whispering my friend’s words to myself.

“Yes Eddy…this must be the bottom line!” (lol)

P.S. No matter what I love my job:)

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