Yesterday i was thinking that how fast the year 2010 just gone by….For me it was a year of rabbit jump rather than a turtle walk, i.e. fast and furious ­čśŤ

When i look back i can say it is my favourite year because 2010 brought me the most charming beauties of my life: My Twin Boys. I experienced the feeling of motherhood for the first time and now being addicted to this precious feeling i adore my babies…

My sister gave birth as well and i became an auntie to the most lovable nephew. He is my pumpkin!

Again this year we bought a cute house, (the decoration of which i am still dealing with) that led us to a fresh start as i mentioned in my early posts.

What else?…Two of my best friends got married this year. Taking this opportunity let me wish an ever-happy life to them with their lovely wives. (Congratulations Rishi and Congratulations Sreeram) ­čÖé

So this was the year when my intellectual and cultural improvement slowed down yet my personal life and family bonds got an accelarated pace…

Towards the end, we already started shopping for new year gifts (my favourite shopping reason ­čśŤ ) as well as┬átaking new resolutions and cherishing new hopes…

┬áEarly Happy New Year To All ­čśÇ


Dear ‘E’,

It has been quite long since we last heard from each other, or since our eyes touched each other, or since our fingertips felt the same cold on our faces, or since our lips met for the last time…

May be this is the reason i penned down this letter…to stop making sentences starting with ‘since’ and to replace it with ‘again’ like we are good friends again. Again it is my birthday and you forgat it again or you pretended to forget. I don’t know which would be more painful.

Remember…in the first year we met we had a huge celebration with an imaginary party and a cake too because of the distance between the time and the place (not between the hearts). The next year after that when we had already killed certain emotions, you had wished me with two lines zipped into a soulless mail. And the next year after that you were covered under silence and only replied my mail asking ‘where you have been’ with one word which was ‘sorry’. And the next year after that you even did not bother to reply back…

Dear ‘E’, i know sometimes it is hard to remember certain things but other times to forget. Now i don’t know again which has been sad for me…the fact that you forgat my birthday or you never tried to remember it?!

Heartbeat to heartbeat we survived for sometime and heartache to heartache our relation died…



Photo Credit

Twitter is a site which i rarely use since i believe that it is useless unless there exists a spesific purpose such as promoting something that you are into, let it be a site, a book, a place, etc. Otherwise i don’t think anyone would be interested in what i’m doing at the moment (May be i’m wrong about it, and if this is the case, please enlighten me!)

However, yesterday twitter became one of my favourite sites as i came across Elif Shafak’s page on it by chance. Following her on Twitter (not what she eats and drinks but what she writes and reads) seemed so charming to me as she is my role-model as a writer, and the best event of the day was the news that her new book “Firarperest” had now taken its place on the shelves (in Turkey). Hearing that my mouth became so watery to get it ASAP! (ASAP = As soon as possible here has the meaning of ‘as soon as my twins let me’). ­čśÇ

Happy Reading,


I have moved! Finally, we managed to move in a new flat which consumed each n every day of my eid holiday (nine days exactly). Moving from one place to another is always difficult for me as it requires an adaptation period both physically and mentally. I overcame the physical part (after entering wrong rooms for several times, and being unable to find things at their new drawers or cabinets) yet mental phase is still haunting me since new place brings a new start leading to a brandnew life in fact!

By the way, for the time being there is no net connection at home yet as such things requires bureaucracy and bureaucracy needs more time. So i will be on n off throughout this period.

Wish me luck,


I was making one of my boys sleep when i heard some soft melody in Hindi…I thought my netbook was on (so youtube was active) but it wasn’t…Then i noticed that footprints of the song were heading towards the other room where my hubby was busy with his laptop…so the result came out: My hubby was listening to Hindi music, that is too a classic which even i hadn’t heard before┬á(My gosh! after my twins now it was my hubby’s turn to get enchanted by these mystic hindi melodies!?)

Here is the song together with its video: Jaiye Aap Kahan Jayenge from the movie Mere Sanam.

Do not hesitate to enjoy!

Bug├╝n can─▒m T├╝rk├že yazmak istedi. Hem de b├╝y├╝k bir ┼čevkle. Hem de ne hakk─▒nda yazaca─č─▒m─▒ bilmeksizin. Sonra birden okudu─čum kitaba tak─▒ld─▒ g├Âzlerim. Orhan Pamuk’un “─░stanbul, Hat─▒ralar ve ┼×ehir” adl─▒ kitab─▒. Hen├╝z daha ba┼člar─▒nda olmama ra─čmen her bir sat─▒r─▒ ayr─▒ bir ├žocukluk an─▒m─▒ ├ža─čr─▒┼čt─▒ran kitap resmen i├žime i┼čledi. Tam da bu s─▒rada televizyonda onca dizinin aras─▒nda b├╝nyesinde bar─▒nd─▒rd─▒─č─▒ ‘Osman’ karakteri ile herkesi ekrana ba─člayan (ve bol bol a─člatan) yeni bir dizinin, ‘├ľyle Bir Ge├žer Zaman Ki”, fragman─▒ ba┼člad─▒. Tabi benim an─▒lar daha bir depre┼čti…

Kli┼čedir ama k├╝├ž├╝k film kareleri belirdi g├Âzlerimin ├Ân├╝nde…Yedi─či ‘Halley’ ambalajlar─▒n─▒ atmay─▒p biriktiren, sonra evcilik oynarken bu yald─▒zl─▒ ambalajlar─▒ ellerine kollar─▒na s├╝rt├╝p sim niyetine kullanan ├╝├ž kuzen…Teyzesinin evinin demiryolunun yak─▒n─▒nda olmas─▒n─▒ nimet bilen ve gazoz kapa─č─▒, ├živi, vs. ne bulurlarsa raylar─▒n ├╝zerine yerle┼čtirip bir sonraki trenin gelmesini d├Ârt g├Âzle bekleyen ├╝├ž kuzen daha…Annelerinin s─▒k─▒ tembihlerine ald─▒rmay─▒p en y├╝ksek erik a─ča├žlar─▒n─▒ se├žip t─▒rmanan ve patlayana kadar midelerini erikle dolduran iki arkada┼č…Diz boyu ya─čan kar─▒ sevin├ž ├ž─▒─čl─▒klar─▒yla kar┼č─▒layan ve hen├╝z paltolar─▒ annelerinin elindeyken lastik botlar─▒n─▒ giyip soka─ča f─▒rlayan ve bu an─▒ k├╝├ž├╝k bir foto─čraf karesiyle ├Âl├╝ms├╝zle┼čtiren iki k─▒z karde┼č…Anneannesine ziyarete gitti─či k├Ây├╝n temiz havas─▒n─▒ bir t├╝rl├╝ yeterli g├Ârmeyip da─č tepe t─▒rman─▒p en sonunda kaybolan iki kuzen…ve insana huzur veren daha nice ├žocukluk an─▒lar─▒…

Ne derler bilirsiniz…her ┼čeye ra─čmen ├žocukluk g├╝zel ┼čey do─črusu ­čÖé

Note for my foreign readers: I just felt like writing this post in my mother tongue because it was about a trip down the memory lane (childhood memories) and these are best reflected in its own language i strongly believe ­čÖé

Time changes everything, everyone, every mind, every heart, every face, every look, every word and every world, except mine!

The relation between us was not initiated officially, we were never officially-declared lovers, and in the same way the relation between him and me did not come to end officially either. No one declared but both sides were aware it was over. An abrupt end.

However, in my case, ÔÇťThe EndÔÇŁ led to a new start, start of a unilateral love. When i closed my eyes, he was still the only man i desired. After all how can time change/affect a true love?!

Not a slight difference one could realize in the feelings i kept for him, and i assumed ÔÇťthe changeÔÇŁ never visited him as well. He was still mine, he was still loving. I did not consider ÔÇťThe timeÔÇŁ and ÔÇťThe place/distanceÔÇŁ until today.

I received an official declaration stating the things between him and me were gone. I sensed he was still smiling while saying he did not have the same feelings for me as he did.

I was not surprised at all as i already knew i had never meant anything for him, but it was giving pain to hear all these directly from him.

I have kept acting on the same scene trying to produce just one play without a clear success. Now i lost my reason to live in real sense, to keep my heart alive. But what can i say ÔÇťAll in the gameÔÇŁ!