Archive for the ‘Rambling’ Category

Choti is back (though temporarily) like a bat…yet staying awake both day and night…Days are like delicate butterflies which just runs away even before touching its wing and nights are like owls which wait patiently for the sun to greet the earth…Got a clue how i have been?? Of course as busy as ever, tired yet happy….Houseworks, home-office, my naughtyyyy twins, tiny tiny leisure time activities make up a day of mine.

As for my hobbies…lately i watched Black Swan which is a breath-taking movie and V for Vandetta which is an old yet awesome one both by Natalie Portman. Meanwhile i keep reading books among which i finished Yirminci Yüzyılda Paris (that is originally in French) by Jules Verne, Fatih-Harbiye by Peyami Safa, Gülünesi Aşklar by Milan Kundera, İstanbul (Hatıralar ve Şehir) by Orhan Pamuk.

Now it is 11.55 pm and i am lost among the translation projects…soon one of my boys will start to yell to request his night food and the other cutie will follow him on deep cries…afterwards a peaceful night sleep will take all of us into its arms, the lenght of which depends on my sweetos’ hunger 😀

This is all for now… a short ‘hey, i am still alive’ post from Choti 🙂

Do take care and stay in tune…


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Today i talked to you…You were not aware but i was…You were not conscious but i was…I kept talking and you kept your silence…I waited for a word to come out in your warm voice…Kabhi kabhi i heard a song and i thought you were singing for me…mann ki gali tu phuharoon si aa bheeg jaye mere khwabon ka kafila…Kabhi kabhi there echoed some lines and i thought you were murmuring…chaahe jo maanglo sab tumhare hai…And kabhi kabhi there were whispers and i thought you were back to me..chal apna rang dikha dena thumka mere sang laga lena…

I kept talking and you kept your silence…till the time i woke up…

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Photo Credit

  1. Spend more and more and more time with the turtle and the hippopotamus (my twins) (Any chance to make a day 48 hours rather than 24?!).
  2. Earn more and spend less (Tell me how?!).
  3. Spare more time for reading (deemed to be still a dream as the time flies away and books reside peacefully on the shelves!).
  4. See more movies (Sounds great and enjoyable yet for the time being a hallucination on a desert…).
  5. Try to stay more in touch with friends (except some!) (Friendship is precious and prove this to the ones who worth it! For the rest you can pile the mails in junk folder or leave the calls unanswered).
  6. Be more open to changes rather than sticking to the easy yet boring routine (Be brave my girl!).
  7. Try to write more (Productivity is the word!).
  8. Get a driving licence (Shame shame…don’t you have one yet?!).
  9. Why not having a car? (Not sure as i hate cars due to carsickness!).
  10. Keep up studying Hindi (I want to speak fluent Hindi…please please God give me the talent to speak this language. Oh man! I need a proper and regular teacher!)
  11. Come and check the above items time to time not to forget your targets throughout the year (Ok boss!).


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Dear ‘E’,

It has been quite long since we last heard from each other, or since our eyes touched each other, or since our fingertips felt the same cold on our faces, or since our lips met for the last time…

May be this is the reason i penned down this letter…to stop making sentences starting with ‘since’ and to replace it with ‘again’ like we are good friends again. Again it is my birthday and you forgat it again or you pretended to forget. I don’t know which would be more painful.

Remember…in the first year we met we had a huge celebration with an imaginary party and a cake too because of the distance between the time and the place (not between the hearts). The next year after that when we had already killed certain emotions, you had wished me with two lines zipped into a soulless mail. And the next year after that you were covered under silence and only replied my mail asking ‘where you have been’ with one word which was ‘sorry’. And the next year after that you even did not bother to reply back…

Dear ‘E’, i know sometimes it is hard to remember certain things but other times to forget. Now i don’t know again which has been sad for me…the fact that you forgat my birthday or you never tried to remember it?!

Heartbeat to heartbeat we survived for sometime and heartache to heartache our relation died…



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Bugün canım Türkçe yazmak istedi. Hem de büyük bir şevkle. Hem de ne hakkında yazacağımı bilmeksizin. Sonra birden okuduğum kitaba takıldı gözlerim. Orhan Pamuk’un “İstanbul, Hatıralar ve Şehir” adlı kitabı. Henüz daha başlarında olmama rağmen her bir satırı ayrı bir çocukluk anımı çağrıştıran kitap resmen içime işledi. Tam da bu sırada televizyonda onca dizinin arasında bünyesinde barındırdığı ‘Osman’ karakteri ile herkesi ekrana bağlayan (ve bol bol ağlatan) yeni bir dizinin, ‘Öyle Bir Geçer Zaman Ki”, fragmanı başladı. Tabi benim anılar daha bir depreşti…

Klişedir ama küçük film kareleri belirdi gözlerimin önünde…Yediği ‘Halley’ ambalajlarını atmayıp biriktiren, sonra evcilik oynarken bu yaldızlı ambalajları ellerine kollarına sürtüp sim niyetine kullanan üç kuzen…Teyzesinin evinin demiryolunun yakınında olmasını nimet bilen ve gazoz kapağı, çivi, vs. ne bulurlarsa rayların üzerine yerleştirip bir sonraki trenin gelmesini dört gözle bekleyen üç kuzen daha…Annelerinin sıkı tembihlerine aldırmayıp en yüksek erik ağaçlarını seçip tırmanan ve patlayana kadar midelerini erikle dolduran iki arkadaş…Diz boyu yağan karı sevinç çığlıklarıyla karşılayan ve henüz paltoları annelerinin elindeyken lastik botlarını giyip sokağa fırlayan ve bu anı küçük bir fotoğraf karesiyle ölümsüzleştiren iki kız kardeş…Anneannesine ziyarete gittiği köyün temiz havasını bir türlü yeterli görmeyip dağ tepe tırmanıp en sonunda kaybolan iki kuzen…ve insana huzur veren daha nice çocukluk anıları…

Ne derler bilirsiniz…her şeye rağmen çocukluk güzel şey doğrusu 🙂

Note for my foreign readers: I just felt like writing this post in my mother tongue because it was about a trip down the memory lane (childhood memories) and these are best reflected in its own language i strongly believe 🙂

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This morning, when the sun released its rays on my wall in the form of some sparkling lights, again ‘some hope’ filled deep inside me! ‘Some hope’ that is both triggered and hindered by the life itself. ‘Some hope’ that makes me strong enough to challenge every difficulty…that gives me the self-confidence to put up with the so-called bad side…that adds me the gift to see the right and to ignore the wrong.

Yet the very same ‘hope’ does not protect me from the thought that one day you will totally forget me as if i have never existed. And at this point this ‘some hope’ that seems like a success at first step just turns into a failure at the second!

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Ok, i do love rain for sure…i do love walking under some mild drizzle…i do love watching the raindrops hitting the window or i do love sleeping while hearing the rain like a lullaby, yet it is so frustrating when it rains each time i have to go out and especially when i forget to take an umbrella with me!!

Today was one of those days. When i woke up, the weather was so nice with the sun up there smiling at the earth. It was quite hot as well so i dressed up in thin and light-colored clothes and went out without even considering the idea of carrying an umbrella since it is just the middle of summer in Turkey which means it is unlikely for the weather to change its face from shiny rays to wet drops.

After taking a few steps on the street, the sky suddenly changed  its colour, rain clouds just formed a dark shadow and just then i felt the first drops. Thanksfully i was so close to underground and took a shelter there while travelling at the same time. After taking an underground train and then a bus, i arrived at my target spot when it started to rain cats and dogs!

Till now i was still dry to my bones. That was a success. Big time!

On the return way to home, it kept raining but at least slightly. Still the tiny drops managed to form wet spots on my t-shirt and loosen my tightly tied hair which was really annoying. I was not safe any more (in the middle of a street without any shelter and an umbrella) neither dry! And finally when i came home, i  was all messed up by look and was so tired due to this fight with bad weather. I know it is not the mansoon waves floading everywhere but it was still wet and cold!

Meantime, weirdly i was attacked by some butterflies three or four times while walking under rain. That was really absurd because instead of seeking shelter not to have their wings broken, the buttterflies were just flying directly towards human beings. I hardly saved my eye from these slow yet unexpected moves of these delicate creatures.

From this adventure of mine,

Lesson 1: No matter what carry an umbrella against unforeseeable rain episodes.

Lesson 2: No matter what carry sunglasses against unexpected guests such as butterflies 😛

Lesson 3: No matter what still keep loving the rainy weather as it is the most undispensible componant of romance 😀

Let me finish my rain-full sentences with rain-full scenes.



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