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Archive for June, 2009

62646“Let me bring the drinks” said i, getting the permission from my guests to leave the room for a short while so at the same time getting the chance to calm down my heartbeats and come into my senses. I leaned against the kitchen table holding its edge firmly not to fall. I felt that my knees were not able to carry me any more. I took a deep breath and tried to stand strong on my high heeled shoes.

I was setting the wine glasses on the silver tray on which i was able to see my reflection. From outside i was a beautiful woman with fair skin, long brown hair, thick lips and deep blue eyes but from inside my soul was devastated.

I tried not to think any more when i put the last glass on the tray then i heard a footstep coming closer. I didn’t turn my back as i already knew who it was! He hugged me from behind hesitantly, i felt uneasy and said “Don’t” while i was getting rid of his arms. “But why?” he asked. “Someone can see us” i replied. He lowered his looks and kept watching the designs of the carpet for a while.

He looked like an innocent child needing love and care. I couldn’t  stop myself any more and this time i wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel his accelarating heartbeats. His lips slightly touched on my hair, then my forehead. And then he put another kiss on my nose as if he was gathering some courage before meeting my lips. I took the first step and let my lips rest on his.

We were both excited feeling the love in dept and the lust on the surface. Our lips were locked into each other and our hands were seeking for a place to get hooked not to leave each other ever again.

This would not go on any more, i thought. I took a step back unwillingly and he was unwilling as well to let go off my lips. We stood face to face and i asked him “Please go!”. He shook his head. “Please go…” i repeated. I was as weak as him at the very moment but i had no choice.  He walked out of the kitchen with slow motions as if his body is heavier for his legs. From where i stood, i tried to visualise his walking in the sitting room with a fake smile on his tired face and his taking the seat just beside his wife.

I put a smile on my face similar to his, held the tray firmly not to let it go off my hands which were still shaking due to what has happened. When i entered the room and saw his wife talking about something passionately and at the same time looking at her husband with sparkling eyes full of love, i promised myself not to see him any more.

When i took my place at the table, i made another promise to myself: not to break the promises i made!

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DSC01797The office was too busy today (which has been the case most of the time)…Everyone was working like hard-working bees (including me) as if trying to make the most delicious honey or like ants as if getting prepared for winter in hurry…No matter how much work we did till noon, everyone was thinking of the lunch which would be a gathering of our department at a sea-side restaurant across the Bosphorus.

Everyone was so chic like a princess (including me) wearing her best dress to look gorgeous in the ball.

As soon as the the clocks of PCs showed the noon with their silent alarms, we DSC01817rushed to cars to get on the way as soon as possible. When we reached there, it was really worth it. The view of the Bosphorus was just breath-taking. I took a few photos to share with you but they don’t reflect its real beauty in fact. Still you can have an idea at least. On such days, when i am face to face with the inner beauty of İstanbul, i can’t help thinking that it is like a living city with a soul observing all the people taking shelter under its roof…

After getting seated and served with so many delicious dishes, the delight surrounding our minds and hearts just doubled. After eating up everything to the end, filling our noses with the smell of sea, listening to the music giving  some mystical athmosphere to the environment, drinking our Turkish coffee to keep the last unforgettable taste on our tongues, the most difficult thing was to be able to go back to office to finish the incomplete tasks. But we achieved to return with smiling faces and worked happily ever after 🙂

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sad_and_lonely_by_Sepia_Club1One of those days…i’m waking up and you are there with me in my mind…as if being awake (alive) equals to you!

One of those days…you are with me whole day…while holding my pen (feeling your fingers in my hand), while reading a page (my eyes meet yours), while drinking water (like tasting your salty lips) or smelling the air (filling my whole being with your soul)!

One of those days…i have been carrying you with me whole day again…the sun is about to set…you are now the reflection in my eyes or the hope in my heart to see the sparkling stars in the dark sky (thinking that you might be looking at the same star)…or the slight cloud hiding the moon..or the mild breeze blowing my hair!

One of those days…i’m falling into sleep…now you are the bridge between my consicence and my dreams!

One of those days…my loneliness is doubled!

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Fridaynight…in front of the shopping mall where hubby and me will have a dinner…Hubby said “i wana take you to a romantic movie, plz pick up one”… I thought for a second and i replied “that is such a nice offer, i have been looking forward to seeing Terminator”…he smiled and said “that is why i love my wife, she is romantic deep inside not on the surface” 😛

After getting seated ourselves and placing our pop-corn boxes on a suitable reach to us, the usual high pitch Terminator music filled our ears which exhilarated us….

The war between machines and humans are on the peak in this part. The machines are much more developed and complicated…The humans are much more dedicated and fierce…The visual effects are so real…Only thing that was missed in the movie was Arnold himself…although they tried to compensate this gap showing a machine having some kind of fake Arnold look, it didn’t meet the needs i believe…

Still…

“If your are reading this, that means you are part of the resistance. I recommned to all the resistance to see the Terminator-Salvation which is a 5/5 action-thriller….This is John Connor!” 😀

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When I met you it was a hazy day

Being so far, you were impossible, people were to say,

On this grievous experience of love

I was ready though no matter what I had to pay.

 

Opening your warm arms with a soft smile on your face,

I was totally lost in this precious embrace,

Feeling safe hearing the music of your heart

I was reluctant to believe that love was just a race.

 

I walked in darkness for so long with blinded eye,

In every step I thought I overcame the mile

After discovering what you gave me was just fake,

I was left with a heart that didn’t know how to survive.

 

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