Archive for October, 2008

Dear Diary…

Yesterday when i went to home after office, i came to know that there was a water cut…i couldnt know for a while how to cope with that unwanted truth…Then i decided to cook using the spare water we had kept earlier for such unexpected situations…Somehow using my cooking abilities (ast least i didnt poison anyone with my food yet) i managed to cook. After setting the table and taking a seat at the table, i had my dinner with an extreme appetite as if i had not eaten for days…

After such a pleasure-full and stomach-filling delicious dinner, another bad time knocked at my door, which was “washing the dishes”…No need to say i m one of those women who hate this task from heart (dil se)…I took a deep breath and gathered all my courage while entering the kitchen. While i was trying to open the tap, i realized the water was still cut….

OMG! That was a catastrophe….NO matter what I had to wash the dishes!!! I waited for 1 hour…No water. I waited for 2 hours…Still No water…3 hours, 4 hours…No No…Meanwhile, i read book, watched T.V., set up the rooms, checked mails, took a rest, make tea, etc….It was midnite now…And unfortunately there was no waterrrrrr!!!!!

So i couldnt stand any more and gave it up….I was defeated by a cut-water in this war of being a housewife….Now i m at office trying to be a businesswoman…thnx god it has nothing to do with the water!

Dear diary, thats all for today…Wait for my next adventure impatiently…



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Attention: Karz

Dear All,,,,

If you come across with the movie Karz by any chance, just run away and try to save your soul before it gets dirty with this bullshit and nonsense junk movie. Himesh is such a catastophe that after watching the movie you want to kill yourself…lol

The soundtrack is also cheap and useless without any emotion…

Seriously, keep away from this time-waste!!!!

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Sleep Over?!

It was just yesterday I suddenly realized that “I am fond of sleeping”. Normally people say I am a vampire or an “ullu”…lol, or most of them think i am a zombie as I go to bed very late at night and wake up quite early to go to office.  However, most of the people do not know that i tend to sleep on each and every occasion like when i first come to office in the morning i put my head on my desk and sleep for a few minutes, or while i m having coffe at Starbucks i close my eyes until my friends disturb me or i curl and cuddle like a kitty on my soft and warm sofa before dinner, after dinner, during watch..or while chatting with my friends…

Now i am a bit confused…Do i sleep a lot or not?

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Where Are You?


Stars around…

I am waiting for the moon (you) to appear…


I am surrounded by clouds…

I am waiting for the sun (you) to shine on me…


Everywhere is full of chilling snow…

I am waiting for your warm hands to find me….


Flowers are everywhere….

I am waiting for your love to blossom in my heart….

And where are you?



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Midnight….just got out of a movie (Saturno Contro)… i m on the main road, ready to cross the road, but waiting for the traffic lights to turn into green….it is red now…I m feeling the cold wind on my face…cars are passing in front of me with an ultimate speed…

All of a sudden i imagined to throw myself in front of those cars…it was a thought just for a second…

I realized that death is a matter of a second if we dont have the people we love and loved by in our lives…

The light is green now…i crossed the street to take a cab..the wind had already stopped blowing my hair…

Memories would be an absolute treasure if we dont have to deal with the past itself, wouldnt it??

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Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you’ve done
Forgive all your mistakes
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call ya
But I know you won’t be there

Ohh I’m sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide ’cause it’s you I miss
And it’s so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh yeah

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Ohh I’m sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself, ohh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I’ve missed you
Since you’ve been away
Ooh, it’s dangerous
It’s so out of line
To try and turn back time

I’m sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you

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These days i have not been busy at all but i couldnt finish even a book or i did not see any movie due to my occupied state of mind. At such times, i dnt enjoy neither reading nor watching as the things in mind hinder one’s taste.

However, nothing much left from Sense and Sensibility and i have great quotes from this book to be shared with you very soon hopefully. And i got another movie on Wednesday called Premonition, and it is possible i can watch it tonight if i can come to my senses.

As for Bollywood,  still i m about to see Rehnaa Tere Dil Mein…My Indian friends say it is really a cute movie but i am not sure whther i can manage seeing an emotional movie without any tears..lol

I am dying to go back to my daily routine leaving aside everything troubling me… Ah, well, lets see…

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Updating Life!

mmmm lets see what i have been up to lately…..

mmm on a second thought…lets skip this post!

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It was the time when the high-heeled shoes started to hurt her feet, yet she did not feel like giving up shopping. Randomly, she entered another store to buy a pair of shoes—of course red—After changing her shoes and feeling such a relief on her feet, she decided to go to the bookstore to get the books she ordered last week.

While she was careful with her accelerated steps, she was checking the book list at the same time. Her extreme care with her walk did not prevent her from dashing against someone. Now her shopping bags were everywhere. She frowned and kneeled down to gather her stuff without paying attention to the person, who was now also kneeled down across to her. There was no sorry, no excuse, no help offer from his side. He just stood still even without blinking.

She stood up saying sorry herself but he was still on his knees. She heard him saying “Forgive me!” She said “No problem as long as we are not hurt, right?” She was still busy with her shopping stuff. He repeated “You should forgive me.” Then she came to recognize his voice and looked at him. The very same person who had made her fall in love with himself, letting her be deceived by him, then moving ahead into another life leaving her behind without making even a brief explanation.

He repeated for the third time, “Please forgive me, and let me explain, please.” There was the familiar anger in her eyes. Without pausing between the words, she said, “You are my past, yet you ruined my present, now let me catch up with my future.” Then she turned her back and kept walking, letting the man remain on his knees.

He did not know whether she ever forgave him or not, nor did she!

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I am in love with a voice


And Unique…

Takes the shape of every whisper I hear

Felt in every breath I feel

Always tells me about love

How desirous it has been

Each time it embraces me

How much lust it has shown

All the way it touches me

A voice curing all my wounds

Removing all the pain i have

Cheering up my soul

and so echoing in my mind

A voice…

How much I run after

How rare I come across

Never been mine

Always with me but never been mine

Still I am in love…

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lamha lamha umar baat le –one who’ll share every moment with me
meri tanhayian kaat le-
and take away my loneliness
har ghadi bas mera naam le-
one who’ll think of only me every minute
ladkhadayon joh main thaam le-
and catch me if I falter
mere saare sapne sajaye-
who’ll adorn my dreams
meri palko mein ghar banaye-
and reside in my eyes [*]

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 The new book of Orhan Pamuk at last took its place on the shelves. “Masumiyet Müzesi” (Museum of Innocence–literally) is often categorized as a novel of romance but the writer states it is more than that. It is not only about love but also, human relations, friendship, marriage, passion and many other humanly feelings.

Here i am not going to go into detail about the book regarding its matter of subject, the style in which it is written or the readers’ feedback as i have not read the book yet. May be i should spare another page for its review after finishing the book.

By chance today i came across with the author on T.V. talking about his writing life, his career all throughout, about his new book and its process and the nobel prize he got. Listening to all these talks, seeing the author’s enthusiasm about his book, the discipline he applied on himself, the ethics, his love for writing really touched me today.

So, i got a new motive to read this book and right now i m adding it into my Target Books…Lets see when i will be able to read this book as there are still many waiting to be finished…Well as all of us know…So many books, so less time…!

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First snowflake of the year. She focused her looks on the calendar to confirm the date once more – – 3rd of February – – her birthday.

She woke up earlier today although it was weekend. She opened the curtains to a white world and started to watch the snow even without blinking her eyes. Each time a snowflake reached the ground and melted in the soil, she remembered him. Each time a snowflake was gone with the wind in the air carelessly here and there, she remembered him. And each time a snowflake fell onto the window smiling at her with a soft and calm move, she remembered him.


It was her birthday so the time was not proper to think about him, to remember him or frankly speaking to miss him. That would put her into an expectation, expecting a call for her birthday as his velvet-like voice, his warm smile contrasting to the cold whether would be the best gift she could ever have in her entire life, yet he had forgotten her last birthday.


She looked at the watch, it was 8 am. She tried to calculate the time in Ontario. It must have passed the midnight. He must have been sleeping already. For a short while, she got lost in her mind surrounded by the thoughts all about him. She thought they never watched the same moon at the same time, they never blinked at the sun at the same time, they never got wet under the same rain, and they never breathed the same air or never felt the cold face of the same snow…


That was nothing more than nonsense. She always thought she ended this issue in her mind months ago but her heart was against her as usual. Trying to divert her attention from him to something else she took a few steps towards the kitchen. All of a sudden she realized something on the carpet. A hairclip with blue-pink butterfly on it, the pair of which was sent to him a year ago in an envelope full of love and hope. Now she did not have enough courage to take it from the ground or to handle the situation itself. Right now this tiny hairclip let her dig her past deeper and deeper. She remembered how they used to imagine a day to spend together. A day in Ontario, on a lonely street buried into silence with the snow covering the whole city.

They would be walking hand in hand slowly, silently feeling each other more on each step. They would let the snow hide their footprints they left on the snowy road.

He would be smoking at the same time. She never had any special reason but she always had the impression that he looked more charming while smoking. After a long walk they would be sitting on a cold bench not even minding its being wet by snow. They would be looking each other’s eyes searching for the traces of love more and more until feeling satisfied. Her nose would be reddish due to chilling wind and he would warm it by rubbing his nose onto hers. That would let her feel his breath on her face…


These daydreams were going on for hours each time they called each other and just before they end the call, they used to repeat their promise given by heart: “No matter what happens, no matter where we are, no matter how old we are, no matter with whomever we are, we will meet at least once before we die!”.

She heard his voice echoing in her ear as if it was just whispered. She realized the bitter truth of the world once again. Different nations, different cultures, different religions, and parents isolating their children from this “difference”.


The voice in her ear carried on: “I know we have no end but I promise you I will be yours and only yours forever. Can you promise me as well?”

She whispered to herself “I promise”.

As soon as she finished her sentence the phone rang. Before daring to hear who it was, she checked the time again. It was 8:45 am. She picked it up. That familiar soft voice:

“Happy Birthday Ducky!”


Although she was longing for this call, hence waiting for it, she was shocked and had no words to speak. For a while they stayed silent. Then the guy carried on:

“Don’t you want to know about your birthday gift?”

“Even this meant a lot. Thank you for your nice behavior.”

“No, no…ask about your gift!”

“Ok then, what is my birthday gift?”

“A flight ticket!”

“Ticket? For me?”

“No, actually for myself.”

“For yourself? Ok, but to where?”

“To you!”


Just then another snowflake fell on the window slipping downwards smiling at her…


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“The voice of life in me cannot reach the ear of life in you; but let us talk that we may not feel lonely.”

By Khalil Gibran

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The ones who read my previous notification already know that i was on a business trip for 2 days, and at last i am back at home:) The consecutive meetings were held at a hillstation (approximately 1 hour away from İstanbul city center) in its fantastic meeting rooms. The place was like a village with a variety of facilities like tennis court, play ground, horse-riding area, club, restaurant, swimming pool, etc.

The meetings were found quite fruitful at the end, and in breaks we just enjoyed the environment and the peaceful view surrounding us. I took quite a lot of pictures and i will just place here a few of them as an example.

The wooden swing i got seated and swung almost for hours.

Beutiful fowers surrounding the whole area.

Vast green areas giving the business minds some peace.

A small part of the play ground. (Bas mere liye=P)

The poor kitty disturbed by us.

My room, i shared with one of my friends.

The fire we sat around and ate pop corn whole night…

Well, if you are looking for me in the pictures, you cannot see as i was hiding:P

Shortly, although i am a tired blogger right now, i can clearly say i spent an awesome time in these two days!

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