Days are short, Nights are even shorter!

Choti is back (though temporarily) like a bat…yet staying awake both day and night…Days are like delicate butterflies which just runs away even before touching its wing and nights are like owls which wait patiently for the sun to greet the earth…Got a clue how i have been?? Of course as busy as ever, tired yet happy….Houseworks, home-office, my naughtyyyy twins, tiny tiny leisure time activities make up a day of mine.

As for my hobbies…lately i watched Black Swan which is a breath-taking movie and V for Vandetta which is an old yet awesome one both by Natalie Portman. Meanwhile i keep reading books among which i finished Yirminci Yüzyılda Paris (that is originally in French) by Jules Verne, Fatih-Harbiye by Peyami Safa, Gülünesi Aşklar by Milan Kundera, İstanbul (Hatıralar ve Şehir) by Orhan Pamuk.

Now it is 11.55 pm and i am lost among the translation projects…soon one of my boys will start to yell to request his night food and the other cutie will follow him on deep cries…afterwards a peaceful night sleep will take all of us into its arms, the lenght of which depends on my sweetos’ hunger

This is all for now… a short ‘hey, i am still alive’ post from Choti

Do take care and stay in tune…

Choti

As it is said, google it!

Nowadays I am so carried away from the reality in a world of books, the last one being “Firarperest” by Elif Shafak. Shafak’s books are just like freshly baked desserts always appealing my taste in a way or another! Her being my favourite female writer in Turkish literature, time to time i tend to google her to know more about her, to see what her pluses are comparing with other writers, or to find a way out when i am densely lost in thoughts about how to be a good writer!

During these searches, i came across her official website, which is available both in Turkish and English, and contains short reviews of her books, her bibliography, interviews with her published in various newspapers and articles penned down by her every week in a Turkish newspaper…There is also a section where you can drop messages to her (although she is not able to check her mails regularly, surely someone replies the reader-mails – -proven by experience ; )

For those who like her style and to get to know more about her, this site is a well to dig deeper!

Happy reading,

Choti

Monologue…

Today i talked to you…You were not aware but i was…You were not conscious but i was…I kept talking and you kept your silence…I waited for a word to come out in your warm voice…Kabhi kabhi i heard a song and i thought you were singing for me…mann ki gali tu phuharoon si aa bheeg jaye mere khwabon ka kafila…Kabhi kabhi there echoed some lines and i thought you were murmuring…chaahe jo maanglo sab tumhare hai…And kabhi kabhi there were whispers and i thought you were back to me..chal apna rang dikha dena thumka mere sang laga lena…

I kept talking and you kept your silence…till the time i woke up…

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS (2011) ~ PHIR BHI

Photo Credit

1. Spend more and more and more time with the turtle and the hippopotamus (my twins) (Any chance to make a day 48 hours rather than 24?!).
2. Earn more and spend less (Tell me how?!).
3. Spare more time for reading (deemed to be still a dream as the time flies away and books reside peacefully on the shelves!).
4. See more movies (Sounds great and enjoyable yet for the time being a hallucination on a desert…).
5. Try to stay more in touch with friends (except some!) (Friendship is precious and prove this to the ones who worth it! For the rest you can pile the mails in junk folder or leave the calls unanswered).
6. Be more open to changes rather than sticking to the easy yet boring routine (Be brave my girl!).
7. Try to write more (Productivity is the word!).
8. Get a driving licence (Shame shame…don’t you have one yet?!).
9. Why not having a car? (Not sure as i hate cars due to carsickness!).
10. Keep up studying Hindi (I want to speak fluent Hindi…please please God give me the talent to speak this language. Oh man! I need a proper and regular teacher!)
11. Come and check the above items time to time not to forget your targets throughout the year (Ok boss!).

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE

From the End to the Start (2010-2011)

Yesterday i was thinking that how fast the year 2010 just gone by….For me it was a year of rabbit jump rather than a turtle walk, i.e. fast and furious

When i look back i can say it is my favourite year because 2010 brought me the most charming beauties of my life: My Twin Boys. I experienced the feeling of motherhood for the first time and now being addicted to this precious feeling i adore my babies…

My sister gave birth as well and i became an auntie to the most lovable nephew. He is my pumpkin!

Again this year we bought a cute house, (the decoration of which i am still dealing with) that led us to a fresh start as i mentioned in my early posts.

What else?…Two of my best friends got married this year. Taking this opportunity let me wish an ever-happy life to them with their lovely wives. (Congratulations Rishi and Congratulations Sreeram)

So this was the year when my intellectual and cultural improvement slowed down yet my personal life and family bonds got an accelarated pace…

Towards the end, we already started shopping for new year gifts (my favourite shopping reason ) as well as taking new resolutions and cherishing new hopes…

 Early Happy New Year To All

To the man who cannot remember my birthday any more

Dear ‘E’,

It has been quite long since we last heard from each other, or since our eyes touched each other, or since our fingertips felt the same cold on our faces, or since our lips met for the last time…

May be this is the reason i penned down this letter…to stop making sentences starting with ‘since’ and to replace it with ‘again’ like we are good friends again. Again it is my birthday and you forgat it again or you pretended to forget. I don’t know which would be more painful.

Remember…in the first year we met we had a huge celebration with an imaginary party and a cake too because of the distance between the time and the place (not between the hearts). The next year after that when we had already killed certain emotions, you had wished me with two lines zipped into a soulless mail. And the next year after that you were covered under silence and only replied my mail asking ‘where you have been’ with one word which was ‘sorry’. And the next year after that you even did not bother to reply back…

Dear ‘E’, i know sometimes it is hard to remember certain things but other times to forget. Now i don’t know again which has been sad for me…the fact that you forgat my birthday or you never tried to remember it?!

Heartbeat to heartbeat we survived for sometime and heartache to heartache our relation died…

Love,

‘H’

Firarperest by Elif Shafak

Photo Credit

Twitter is a site which i rarely use since i believe that it is useless unless there exists a spesific purpose such as promoting something that you are into, let it be a site, a book, a place, etc. Otherwise i don’t think anyone would be interested in what i’m doing at the moment (May be i’m wrong about it, and if this is the case, please enlighten me!)

However, yesterday twitter became one of my favourite sites as i came across Elif Shafak’s page on it by chance. Following her on Twitter (not what she eats and drinks but what she writes and reads) seemed so charming to me as she is my role-model as a writer, and the best event of the day was the news that her new book “Firarperest” had now taken its place on the shelves (in Turkey). Hearing that my mouth became so watery to get it ASAP! (ASAP = As soon as possible here has the meaning of ‘as soon as my twins let me’).

Happy Reading,

Choti

New Place…New Time…New Life

I have moved! Finally, we managed to move in a new flat which consumed each n every day of my eid holiday (nine days exactly). Moving from one place to another is always difficult for me as it requires an adaptation period both physically and mentally. I overcame the physical part (after entering wrong rooms for several times, and being unable to find things at their new drawers or cabinets) yet mental phase is still haunting me since new place brings a new start leading to a brandnew life in fact!

By the way, for the time being there is no net connection at home yet as such things requires bureaucracy and bureaucracy needs more time. So i will be on n off throughout this period.

Wish me luck,

Choti

Jaiye Aap Kahan Jayenge

I was making one of my boys sleep when i heard some soft melody in Hindi…I thought my netbook was on (so youtube was active) but it wasn’t…Then i noticed that footprints of the song were heading towards the other room where my hubby was busy with his laptop…so the result came out: My hubby was listening to Hindi music, that is too a classic which even i hadn’t heard before (My gosh! after my twins now it was my hubby’s turn to get enchanted by these mystic hindi melodies!?)

Here is the song together with its video: Jaiye Aap Kahan Jayenge from the movie Mere Sanam.

Do not hesitate to enjoy!

Öyle Bir Geçer Zaman Ki…

Bugün canım Türkçe yazmak istedi. Hem de büyük bir şevkle. Hem de ne hakkında yazacağımı bilmeksizin. Sonra birden okuduğum kitaba takıldı gözlerim. Orhan Pamuk’un “İstanbul, Hatıralar ve Şehir” adlı kitabı. Henüz daha başlarında olmama rağmen her bir satırı ayrı bir çocukluk anımı çağrıştıran kitap resmen içime işledi. Tam da bu sırada televizyonda onca dizinin arasında bünyesinde barındırdığı ‘Osman’ karakteri ile herkesi ekrana bağlayan (ve bol bol ağlatan) yeni bir dizinin, ‘Öyle Bir Geçer Zaman Ki”, fragmanı başladı. Tabi benim anılar daha bir depreşti…

Klişedir ama küçük film kareleri belirdi gözlerimin önünde…Yediği ‘Halley’ ambalajlarını atmayıp biriktiren, sonra evcilik oynarken bu yaldızlı ambalajları ellerine kollarına sürtüp sim niyetine kullanan üç kuzen…Teyzesinin evinin demiryolunun yakınında olmasını nimet bilen ve gazoz kapağı, çivi, vs. ne bulurlarsa rayların üzerine yerleştirip bir sonraki trenin gelmesini dört gözle bekleyen üç kuzen daha…Annelerinin sıkı tembihlerine aldırmayıp en yüksek erik ağaçlarını seçip tırmanan ve patlayana kadar midelerini erikle dolduran iki arkadaş…Diz boyu yağan karı sevinç çığlıklarıyla karşılayan ve henüz paltoları annelerinin elindeyken lastik botlarını giyip sokağa fırlayan ve bu anı küçük bir fotoğraf karesiyle ölümsüzleştiren iki kız kardeş…Anneannesine ziyarete gittiği köyün temiz havasını bir türlü yeterli görmeyip dağ tepe tırmanıp en sonunda kaybolan iki kuzen…ve insana huzur veren daha nice çocukluk anıları…

Ne derler bilirsiniz…her şeye rağmen çocukluk güzel şey doğrusu

Note for my foreign readers: I just felt like writing this post in my mother tongue because it was about a trip down the memory lane (childhood memories) and these are best reflected in its own language i strongly believe

The Art of Writing ‘Official Letter’!

Time changes everything, everyone, every mind, every heart, every face, every look, every word and every world, except mine!

The relation between us was not initiated officially, we were never officially-declared lovers, and in the same way the relation between him and me did not come to end officially either. No one declared but both sides were aware it was over. An abrupt end.

However, in my case, “The End” led to a new start, start of a unilateral love. When i closed my eyes, he was still the only man i desired. After all how can time change/affect a true love?!

Not a slight difference one could realize in the feelings i kept for him, and i assumed “the change” never visited him as well. He was still mine, he was still loving. I did not consider “The time” and “The place/distance” until today.

I received an official declaration stating the things between him and me were gone. I sensed he was still smiling while saying he did not have the same feelings for me as he did.

I was not surprised at all as i already knew i had never meant anything for him, but it was giving pain to hear all these directly from him.

I have kept acting on the same scene trying to produce just one play without a clear success. Now i lost my reason to live in real sense, to keep my heart alive. But what can i say “All in the game”!

~Quote of the Week~

“Napolyon olduğunu sürekli düşlemekten hoşlanan adamla, kendini Napolyon sanan adam arasındaki fark, mutlu hayalci ile mutsuz şizofren arasındaki farktır.”

From İstanbul, Hatıralar ve Şehir by Orhan Pamuk

(The difference between the man who likes to dream non-stop that he is Napoleon and the man who thinks that he is Napolean is the same difference between the happy dreamer and the unhappy schizophrene.)

TO SUCCEED A FAILURE

This morning, when the sun released its rays on my wall in the form of some sparkling lights, again ‘some hope’ filled deep inside me! ‘Some hope’ that is both triggered and hindered by the life itself. ‘Some hope’ that makes me strong enough to challenge every difficulty…that gives me the self-confidence to put up with the so-called bad side…that adds me the gift to see the right and to ignore the wrong.

Yet the very same ‘hope’ does not protect me from the thought that one day you will totally forget me as if i have never existed. And at this point this ‘some hope’ that seems like a success at first step just turns into a failure at the second!

Baby Who Likes Hindi Music!

Babies like lullaby while falling asleep peacefully, right?? The soft rhythm makes it easy for them to close their eyes and reach the city of angels for sure…Nevertheless, despite the soothing energy of lullabies, one of my boys (Deniz) like louder and more dynamic music, which is not in his mother tongue either. When he starts crying, we make him listen to some energetic hindi (most of the time bollywood) songs hopping n hipping him in my arms at the same time. He just loves these bouncing moves. When the right time comes, he puts his head on my shoulder, close his eyes slowly and starts to snore

I had listened to lots n lots of Bollywood songs during my pregnancy, so sometimes i think that somehow i influenced my baby’s music taste

Here is my son’s favourite song “Band Kamre Mein” from the movie “Kuch Khatti Kuch Meetthi”. The video is not that amusing, the song is nice tough; at least it saves my life when i need to make a naughty boy fall asleep

Dear Diary ~ Day 13!

Dearest Diary,

No need to say that you have been within an unwilling loneliness for a long while due to a couple of reasons: BUSY-NESS accompanied by MOTHERHOOD decorated with TWINS!

My twin boys (i had twins like 3 months back for the ones who havent got to know yet) are taking all my time as expected and again no need to mention that it is an absolute fun to spend time with them (except the times they cry coz as known by everyone no mother heart can bear to hear the cry of her baby or see him/her in pain!). What are we doing whole day is the daily baby routine for the time being like we are waken up by their high-pitch cry as if someone is beating them. Then they race with each other to take his place in my own bed to sleep within a mommy huggy ) Breast-feeding takes the role soon afterwards (which sometimes makes me feel like a cow ). Then this is followed by daily bath with baby soaps, shampoos and oils everywhere. And if we are lucky they give us a chance to speak with them with an eye-contact and making some babyish sounds. And again if we are lucky enough, they fall asleep in peace otherwise making them sleep takes hours spending an utmost muscle power, patience and effort in all dimensions but these are not a big deal as long as our children are safe and sound

As you can guess it is quite an exhausting process yet within such a short span of time, i came to know that no matter what being a mom worths anything !

I would love to write a few more stuff but little turtles are about to wake up for their lunch

God Bless All the Babies,

Choti